Chompy Boi (Gaming Retrospectives)
As part of a series on "DINO CRISIS Trilogy | A Gaming Retrospective" "''(Latin) Meaning: 'Boy of Significant Chomp' ''" - Dino Crisis 2 Summary Chompy Boi is a genus of large carnivorous Therapod (Stompy Chicken Walky Boi) of the family of Chompyboidae ''which existed around 68-66 Million Years Ago, one time in the 90s, and again once in the year 2548 AD on a space ship in that ''really ''stupid sequel. He is the primary antagonist of the first Dino Crisis game, making his debut by first chomping S.O.R.T agent 'Cooper' in the intro cinematic, chomping at Regina through an office window in the first act, chomping some more at her on a balcony later, and then going on to chomp the escape helicopter, underground electrical generator, hover-boat and finally, a stack of TNT. RIP Chompy Boi. A second Chomper appeared in ''Dino Crisis 2, ''having his eye blasted out by an RPG wielding cowboy before going on to chomp several shipping containers (while attempting commencement of chompation of Dylan Morton), and later a Tank, before succumbing to the chomp himself, at the chomper of a B I G Chompy Boi. Biology Chompy Boi followed the typical body template of other members of its family. Its most notable feature was its large and powerful Chomper - the chompiest chomper in fact - reckoned to have a chomp-force of between 35,000 and 57,000 Newtons (7,868 to 12,814 Pounds of Force, or 11.62 to 17.41 Chomps-Per-Square-Inch) giving it the most powerful chomp of any terrestrial organism to have ever walked the earth. Chompy Boi tooth-marks have been found scraped into the bones of Horny Bois, as well as other Chompy Bois, supporting evidence that it was well equipped and adapted to crushing bone - as well as fucking up peoples offices through any head-sized windows. It has a long and rigid tail which helped to counter-balance the weight of its massive chomper, while it's two-fingered hands were comparatively tiny compared to the size of the rest of it's body. A possible reason for this was that smaller arms were an advantageous natural selection in order to maximise the size and weight of it's chomper, while maintaining a healthy centre-of-gravity around its T H I C C pelvis region. Given enough evolutionary time, the arms of future Chompy Bois may have become entirely vestigial, while their chompers grew ever chompier. At a maximum recorded length of between 12 and 13 metres long, Chompy Boi was a comparatively stocky and heavily built member of the ''Chompy Boi family, although there were some species who were overall longer. While they may have been capable of limited sprinting on their muscular stompers, they were more likely an ambush predator, relying on short bursts of speed and a one-chomp-kill. Evolutionary History and Classification Chompy Boi as a species first began emerging around 68 Million Years ago, during the last few Million years of the Cretaceous period; branching off from other species of the family to make his own way in the world, only to wind up with student debt, no job, and living with his stoner friend from high-school, and being a general disappointment to his parents right up until the Cretaceous Extinction event. The major species Chompy Boi Chungatus ''(originally named Tyrannosaurus Rex), roamed across North America, while a second possible sub-species made its way to Asia. This species was originally named "Tyrannosaurus Bataar", before being changed to "Tarbosaurus" after some debate over whether it had truly diverged into its own species by that point, before being renamed once again under the new ''far superior naming scheme: Chompy Boi Chompus. A third sub-species (?) emerged sometime in the 26th century, following some absolutely moronic hybridisation attempts by a rogue Artificial Intelligence, known as Space Chompy Boi. Though there is debate over whether this counts as a sub-species, a mutation, or not-canon. Family Tree * Chompyboidae '' ** ''True Chompy Bois *** Canuck Chompy Bois ''(Formerly ''Albertasaurinae) **** Alberta Boi Ey ''(Formerly ''Albertosaurus) **** Maple Syrup, Hockey, And Unyielding Politeness Boi ''(Formerly ''Gorgosaurus) *** Chompy Boi: Classic Pack (Formerly Tyrannosaurinae) **** Chompy Boi Lite ''(Formerly ''Daspletosaurus) **** Chompy Boi Mini ''(Formerly ''Teratophoneus) **** Chompy Boi ***** Chompy Boi Chompus (Formerly Tarbosaurus) ****** Space Chompy Boi Category:Dinosaurs Category:Dino Crisis Trilogy (Gaming Retrospective)